Come Fly with Me!

Blatanty stolen...er, borrowed from Michelle Malkin

Impeach Bush If Border Agents Killed

‘Weeks after accusing President Bush of "shameful" behavior over the imprisonment of two Border Patrol agents who shot an unarmed suspected drug smuggler along the U.S.-Mexico border, a federal lawmaker turned up the heat further, suggesting the president should be impeached if the two men are killed in prison.

Speaking after the Federal Bureau of Prisons confirmed that agent Ignacio Ramos was assaulted by inmates in his Mississippi prison at the weekend, California Republican Rep. Dana Rohrabacher had a warning for the White House.

"I tell you, Mr. President, if these men - especially after this assault - are murdered in prison, or if one of them lose their lives, there's going to be some sort of impeachment talk in Capitol Hill," he said during a press conference in Washington, D.C.’

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NANCY PELOSI, CARBON CRIMINAL

“Nancy Pelosi isn't like everybody else.

She's special.”

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What’s in a Name?

What Donald Edwin Stott Means

D is for Dainty O is for Outrageous N is for Naughty A is for Adventurous L is for Lovable D is for Distinguished is for E is for Earthy D is for Delightful W is for Weird I is for Industrious N is for Nice is for S is for Sensitive T is for Tender O is for Openhearted T is for Trustworthy T is for Talented

What Does Your Name Mean?

Now, I’ll go along with most of this crap, but I had a serious problem with “Dainty”, until I came across this definition: Dainty…overly particular; finicky. Guilty as charged.

Click the link, knucklehead!

Yellowcake and Yellow Journalism

‘To see how liberal history is created, you need to tune into the nut-cable stations and watch their coverage of the Scooter Libby trial. On MSNBC they're covering the trial like it's the Normandy Invasion, starring Elvis Presley, as told by Joseph Goebbels.

MSNBC's "reportage" consists of endless repetition of arbitrary assertions, half-truths and thoroughly debunked canards. No one else cares about the trial -- except presumably Scooter Libby -- so the passionate left is allowed to invent a liberal fable without correction.’

Entire article

Hat tip: Lucianne

Weird Men from Mars and Chevy

'The guy with the cheesy grin who crashes his car while gazing at the girl with the Doritos bag during the first quarter of the Super Bowl is a crowd pleaser. It’s fun, sweet and romantic. It ranked high on many lists of the best Super Bowl commercials.

The other Doritos ad, featuring a supermarket checkout girl getting “hot” while ringing up a guy’s different-flavor Doritos bags, is funny until it goes over the top. The clerk yells “Giddyup” and then arises, disheveled and asking for a “cleanup.” Ick.'

Read it here.

Astronaut Arrested

‘ORLANDO, Fla. - A NASA astronaut accused of trying to kidnap a romantic rival for a space shuttle pilot’s affections was charged with attempted first-degree murder Tuesday and released from jail after posting $25,000 bail.
“The intent was there to do serious bodily injury or death,” said Orlando Police Sgt. Barb Jones, referring to a new steel mallet, knife, rubber tubing and large garbage bags that police found in Lisa Marie Nowak’s possession.
Nowak, a 43-year-old Navy captain and married mother of three, had already been charged with attempted kidnapping, attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery.’

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Remember when astronauts were heroes and role models? Do heroes wear diapers? Depends.

Another Dream of Mine Dashed

“WHITE SALMON, Wash. (AP) _ Raw cougar meat, eaten by a deer hunter who found himself being stalked, is the apparent source of Washington state's first case of trichinosis since 2001, a health official says.

The hunter was hospitalized for a time after eating the uncooked meat in October but has since recovered, Klickitat County Health Director Kevin Barry told the Yakima Herald-Republic.”

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Global Warming

Scientists have now convinced me that Global Warming is real and unprecedented destruction and other assorted bad stuff is imminent.

So therefore I make the following request: Lindsay Wagner…call me. Do it now, before it is too late!



Lindsay (sigh) Wagner

Ann Coulter, Warrior

“The trouble with Republicans is that they don't know how to fight dirty! Although that's not a direct quote from conservative firebrand, Ann Coulter, it was part of the message she gave to about 1000 people at the Dallas/Fort Worth Hyatt Regency Hotel on Saturday night. The huge crowd of GOP loyalists, after enjoying a steak dinner with all the trimmings, sat attentively as the author, columnist and frequent guest on "The O'Reilly Factor" and "The Hannity and Colmes Show" dissected liberal Democrats like a skilled surgeon. The Jersey Girls, the Dixie Chicks, Hillary and Bill, the Scooter Libby trial and numerous other pet peeves were on the operating table as Coulter took them apart one by one.”

Entire article here.

History Made at the Super Bowl

When we look at the two head coaches in this year’s Super Bowl, one... at once amazing, and now an historical, fact is clear. This is the first time in the history of the “Show” that a head coach named ‘Tony’ and a head coach named ‘Lovie’ have ever appeared in this football extravaganza.

Interestingly, prior to now there had been more Weebs than Tonys or Lovies to coach in this game. Weeb Ewbank, winning head coach in the 1969 Super Bowl later went on to host that hilarious, divorce-inducing show, The “Newlywed Game”.

Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith appreciate what significance this has for their namesakes. Presidential spokesman Tony Snow said, “The veil of the stigma against those who are referred to as Tony has finally been lifted and now the world can clearly see what we can accomplish through hard work, perseverance, and waiting around long enough.”

Aging temptress Lovie Kravzit would not comment on Lovie Smith, repeatedly saying, “I will not comment on Lovie Smith.”

Neither Smith nor Dungy overplayed the name-card. In fact after the game winning Coach Tony Dungy said, “Of course it is important for a Tony-American to achieve this goal, but it could not be achieved without the play of the Coons, Crackers, Wops, Spics, and the occasional conch-eating Samoan that are the heart of this wonderful sport.”

And so the NFL concludes another season, sort of… Colts 29, Bears 17. We still have the “Pro Bowl” to look forward to. Here we shall see bone crushing tackles, concussion producing helmet to helmet hits, and limb removing personal fouls.

But, best of all, there will be Tony and Lovie knowing that they have paved the way for future Tonys and Lovies to achieve greatness like they did.

While Some Butts Freeze Off

‘From the "Environmental News Network": "Science Is Solid on Climate Change, Congress Told." "The science is solid," says Louise Frechette, deputy secretary-general of the United Nations.

"The science is solid," says Sen. Dianne Feinstein.

"The science is really solid," says TV meteorologist Heidi Cullen. "The science is very solid."

And at that point, on "Larry King Live" last week, Richard Lindzen, professor of atmospheric science at MIT, remarked: "Heidi says the science is solid and I can't criticize her because she never says what science she's talking about."

Indeed. If the science is so solid, maybe they could drag it out to the Arctic for the poor polar bears to live on now that the ice is melting faster than a coed's heart at an Al Gore lecture.’

Article

Hat tip: Lucianne

This is a Test

Pretty cool, I think.

Excellent Question!

Cartoons by Mike Shelton

Quote of the Day

“The Democrats have no idea what they stand for, the Republicans only remember what they stood for.” —Peggy Noonan

San Francisco Mayor’s Faux Pas

“SAN FRANCISCO - Mayor Gavin Newsom apologized Thursday for having a sexual relationship with his former campaign manager’s wife.
“I’m deeply sorry,” Newsom said during a brief news conference at City Hall the day after the aide resigned. Newsom appeared poised but visibly emotional. He spoke for about a minute and left without taking questions.”

Let me get this straight, so to speak. The mayor of the gayest city this side of Sodom had a sexual relationship with a person of the opposite sex! I am shocked, shocked I tell you!

There is little wonder that the community is up in arms over this travesty.

Bruce Lightloafer, chairperson of the Committee to Limit Heterosexual Behavior said, “This is perhaps the most disgusting example of debauchery in the history of this really fab city. It really makes me sick to my tum-tum.”

“My mothers told me about this type of behavior, but I was skeptical. Now I know that some people have no morals”, said lesbian Billy Joe Butcher.

My sources intimate…er, tell me that a campaign to remove Mayor Newsom from office is in the works.

Ain’t No Sunshine When You’re Gone

Super Bowl XLI is only hours away. It is designated in Roman numerals because that is not only pretentious and impressive, but the game itself is based on an ancient Roman pastime that we now call “War”. This why generally the game is loved predominantly by men. We revere armed conflict between adversaries.

We love war so much that we actually (I’m not making this up) volunteer to risk life and limb to protect our homeland and the citizens therein. And herein lies the rub.

Take Football (I believe the word is sacred, and should always be capitalized) away from us, and what outlet for our innately aggressive nature is left? After Football season the alleged “sport” of golf comes into full swing (get it?). These guys and ladies don’t even tote their own equipment, for chrissakes!

Then there’s tennis. I like to watch Sharapova, but think her grunts should be reserved for more appropriate occasions, exclusively with me.

Basketball is okay, but guys in shorts and sometime tights running back and forth from one incessant foul to the other seems to be better suited to the Richard Simmons crowd.

Hockey is cool, but my old eyes can’t discern a score until the replay slows the action down to a crawl.

That pretty much leaves baseball, another sport I love. But even baseball has shortcomings. I’m a Phillies fan…believe me, I know emptiness and heartache.

So Football will soon be gone for a very long time. Yes, I know that life will go on. But the proverbial glass will no longer be full. Stupid metaphors will no longer abound. Men will have to focus on actual reality (as opposed to imagined reality).

After Adam Vinatieri kicks that winning 47 yard field goal with 3 seconds left in the game, and the Colts become the Super Bowl Champions, life will lose a little luster, men will noticeably cut down on beer consumption, and pigeons will no more twitter in the trees.

But on the bright side…no, there is no bright side.

The Heroes of Herouxville

“Kudos to the mayor and six city counselors of Herouxville, a small community northeast of Montreal. Fed up with the demands of immigrants that the city change its values to accommodate them -- can you guess the religion of these demanding immigrants? -- the city has published a set of standards that is, well, priceless:

We would especially like to inform the new arrivals that the lifestyle they left behind in their birth country cannot be brought here with them and they would have to adapt to their new social identity...

We consider that men and women are of the same value. Having said this, we consider that a woman can: drive a car, vote, sign checks, dance, decide for herself, speak her peace, dress as she sees fit respecting of course the democratic decency, walk alone in public places, study, have a job, have her own belongings and anything else that a man can do.”

Read the rest.

Super Bowl Myths

“Super Bowl legends are forged on the first Sunday in February.

Super Bowl lies? Well, they’re breathlessly told in the days leading up to the main event — a fishy blitz of football fibs and big-bucks blarney that gets recited and rehashed like corny campfire fables.

You’ve heard them. You’ve believed them. Heck, you’ve probably even repeated them.”

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Barbaro Euthanized

Welcome Dr. Sanity readers!

The horse that won the 2006 Kentucky Derby was put down after suffering complications from a broken leg incurred in the first few yards of the Preakness Stakes.

What is lost in the sadness we all feel, not as individuals, but as a collective conscious, is that George Bush and his anti-Kyoto minions are responsible for this great American tragedy. Think about it! Temperatures have risen 8 degrees Celsius since Bush took office. It now rains heavily in places as diverse as Seattle, Washington and Orlando, Florida. Does “Seattle Slew” ring a bell? Coincidence? That's what fascist conservatives would have you believe.

So here we have the trail of complicity. Warmer weather is precursor to a rain event. Rain causes regular dirt to turn into mud. Mud leads to foot (or hoof) slippage. Falling down while running in mud invites broken extremities.

How many more must die at the hands of this uncaring, lying, self-serving President and his corrupt Animal Husbandry Unit at the Department of Agriculture?

We must speak Truth to Power and recognize that this Administration is responsible for a myriad of unjust and messed (edited) up mess (edited) ups.