Common Sense from ABP

“What a cowardly display of total ignorance of the World at large James Baker and company display in this report. At no time in the last 30 years has there been either a negotiation or agreement with the Palestinians, Iranians, and Syrians that has worked in any meaningful way. The Palestinians have violated every ‘treaty’ they’ve ever reached, the Iranians don’t negotiate, they threaten and create terrorism Worldwide, and the Syrians just follow Iran’s lead while holding a death grip on Lebanon in violation of yet another ineffective resolution from the UN. What’s worse: all three groups are getting increasing support from Russia and China, who both would like nothing better than to make life hell for the US without having to do it themselves. In a world that increasingly requires the aggressive threat and/or use of force against people who have only death and destruction in mind, this report is an absolute prescription for suicide. The President shouldn’t even bother to use this report as toilet paper: it’s complete rubbish.”

Read it all.

Quote of the Day

“It is losing that Americans have no patience for—not casualties or a protracted war. Let Bush make it clear that he is serious about victory, and that he will do whatever it takes to achieve it. The political support he needs will follow.” —Jeff Jacoby

Beer Banned in US over Santa Logo

A Christmas beer brewed in Oxfordshire has been banned in parts of the United States because it has a picture of Father Christmas on the label.

Officials in the state of New York told English brewers Ridgeway Brewing that the image on bottles of Santa's Butt could encourage under-age drinking.
The beer, a 6% winter porter, is brewed in South Stoke for the US market.
The ban was challenged by the beer's American importer and lifted, but has now been imposed in the state of Maine.

Peter Scholey, of Ridgeway Brewing, called the decision "ridiculous".

Read it all.

Mince Pie Danger to be Assessed

“Organisers of a village Christmas party have been told they must carry out a risk assessment of their mince pies - or their festivities will be cancelled.”

“Council bosses say posters will have to be displayed at the party in Embsay, in the Yorkshire Dales, warning villagers the pies contain nuts and suet pastry.”

Read the rest.

Another Lesson on How to Lose a War

“JERUSALEM – The Israeli Defense Forces has been instructed by the government here not to open fire or take any action against militants who are discovered launching rockets into the Jewish state, senior military officials told WND today.

The officials said Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's security cabinet changed the IDF's rules of engagement after a cease-fire went into effect Nov. 26. Now, if Palestinians in the Gaza Strip are caught launching rockets at Jewish cities, the Israeli military is forbidden to respond, the military officials said.(emphasis mine)
Previously, the IDF used artillery units and aerial strikes against militants discovered in the process of launching rockets.”

Read it all.

Why Newt is Right

“What does Newt Gingrich have in common with two accomplished nuclear strategists?

Philip Bobbitt has served in national security positions in the US Senate and the Clinton administration. He teaches constitutional law at the University of Texas and strategy at Oxford. At a recent Bradley Lecture at the American Enterprise Institute, Bobbitt discussed the future of terrorism and the state. One of his recurring refrains was the need for states to "stockpile laws" just as they might stockpile vaccines in the instance of biological attack, except the laws would provide for actions the government might legally take to restore itself, or to defend itself and the country, in the aftermath of an attack using weapons of mass destruction. Bobbitt is releasing a new book, discussing terrorism and the evolution of the state, early next year.”

Read the rest.

Hat tip: Instapundit

Supremacy Over the Constitution

“Justice Stephen G. Breyer says the Supreme Court must promote the political rights of minorities and look beyond the Constitution's text when necessary to ensure that "no one gets too powerful."
Breyer, a Clinton appointee who has brokered many of the high court's 5-4 rulings, spoke in a televised interview that aired one day before justices hear a key case on race in schools. He said judges must consider the practical impact of a decision to ensure democratic participation.”

Look beyond the Constitution? Hope you enjoy the next couple of years (decades?) of liberal rule, folks!

Read the rest of Breyer’s blather.

Tiger Rips Off Man's Arm in Spain After He Tries to Take Cell-Phone Photo

Golfer Tiger Woods in a fit of pique tore off the arm of Julio Estrada as the man demurred when Woods attempted to snap a photo of him prior to play at the Madrid Classic.
Mr. Estrada stated, “I told Mr. Woods that I wanted no part of his photographic fantasies, whereupon he grabbed my left arm and spun it in a perfect arc then yanked it out of the socket. He then tugged on it, and it was no longer attached to my body!”

Woods explained that he was sorry if anyone was offended by his actions and that he would enrol in anger management classes at his earliest convenience.

Source:
Donald Stott, Associated Press correspondent

Oops! I misread the headline. Here is the real story.

Governmental Priorities

“MADISON, Wis. (AP) - Festivus just isn't the same this year for self-professed Seinfeld fanatic Governor Jim Doyle.

In fact, Doyle says he won't be recognizing the made-up holiday after Michael Richards, AKA Kramer, unleashed a string of racial slurs at black patrons during a recent comedy club appearance.”

Read it all.

Hat tip: Lucianne

Lies, Damned Lies, and Patriotism

“The Associated Press is standing by its report that six Sunni men were burned to death in Baghdad Friday by Shiites, even though U.S. military officials have accused the wire service of relying on a source who "is not who he claimed he was," an Iraqi police captain.
Military officials also say they cannot confirm that the incident took place and have asked AP to retract or correct the story, which was repeated by media around the world and cited as a grim example of Shiites taking revenge for a deadly bombing that killed more than 200 people a day before.”

Please read it all.

Hate Speech

If people were asked about actor Michael Richards' epithet-laced outburst at a Los Angeles nightclub, there would be a lot of focus on the verbal assault but very little on an assault on freedom of speech. In truth, however, if there's anything at all relating to this story that rises above gossip-column fodder, it's that it's also fuel for demagogues who seek control over discourse in America.

Representing the two targets of Mr. Richards' bile, Frank McBride and Kyle Doss, "civil rights" attorney Gloria Allred appeared on Hannity and Colmes Thanksgiving eve. The stone-faced Allred opened with a very telling assertion, boldly proclaiming, "This is not free speech, this is hate speech!"

Read it all.

Screw Al-Qaida!

‘Al-Qaida in Iraq issued its statement on an Islamic militant Web site it often uses to post messages.

“The pope’s visit, in fact, is to consolidate the crusader campaign against the lands of Islam after the failure of the crusader leaders ... and an attempt to extinguish the burning ember of Islam inside our Turkish brothers,” it said.’

Read the rest.

Uncommon Sense

“Being a lifelong Eagles fan, this very well could be the hardest post I’ve ever had to write, but I’ve got to do it to remain true to my journalistic ethics. (Shaddup!!!!). I just read this story about some things Michael Irvin said on the Dan Patrick radio show about new Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, who happens to be white.”

Read the rest.

Accommodating Disability

“WASHINGTON — American paper money represents an unfair impediment to the blind, and the Treasury Department must come up with new U.S. currency to help the visually impaired use cash, a federal judge ruled Tuesday.
U.S. District Judge James Robertson said keeping all U.S. currency the same size and texture violates the Rehabilitation Act, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of disability in government programs.”

This writer suffers from disabilities that make that sitting, standing, walking, sleeping, waking, bathing, dressing, even typing very difficult. Inside, I feel bad when someone let’s me get ahead of them when we are in a waiting line. Of course, I say "Thank you". When a kind person holds open a door for me, although I am grateful, I feel inadequate. That’s the reality.
But, please, don’t change our society because I have physical problems. Allow me the dignity to deal with it.

NYC’s Mayor, Irresponsible Panderer!

“For those who have not heard, there was a controversial shooting by New York City police officers early Saturday morning. Five undercover police officers opened fire on three black suspects in a car outside a strip club in Queens. The police fired 50 shots in all. One of the men in the car was a 23-year-old named Sean Bell who, as reported in the New York Post,

"was set to marry his high-school sweetheart and the mother of his two young daughters hours after his bachelor party at the club."

Mr. Bell was killed. The incident is now being referred to as the "Groom Shooting," and already is being compared by Al Sharpton to the infamous shooting of Amadou Diallo in 1999.”

Read it all.

Easy Solution

“Hezbollah in Lebanon is an Iranian proxy. Hamas and al-Qaida in the Gaza Strip are assisted and funded by Iran (and given aid and comfort by Iran's Jew-hating genocidal rhetoric), while Iran is the primary player in the 'sectarian' violence in Iraq, details of which are discussed above.
This is not a complicated situation, and can be solved very simply and quickly. Here is the Tammy (Bruce) Middle East Strategy Plan:

1) One bullet, strategically placed, for Hezbollah in Lebanon leader Hassan Nasrallah.
2) One bullet, strategically placed, for Muqtada al-Sadr.
3) The bombing of Iran to eliminate its nuclear bomb program, and to wipe out its genocidal leadership.

1,2,3 done.”

Read the rest.

WHERE GOD AIN'T

He was just a little boy, on a week's first day,
wandering home from Sunday School, and dawdling on the way.
He scuffed his shoes into the grass; he even found a caterpillar.
He found a fluffy milkweed pod and blew out all the "filler."
A bird's nest in a tree overhead, so wisely placed up so high,
Was just another wonder That caught his eager eye.
A neighbor watched his zig zag course and hailed him from the lawn;
Asked him where he'd been that day and what was going on.
"I've been to Bible School," he said and turned a piece of sod.
He picked up a wiggly worm replying, "I've learned a lot about God."
"M'm, very fine way," the neighbor said, "for a boy to spend his time."
"If you'll tell me where God is I'll give you a brand new dime."
Quick as a flash the answer came! Nor was his voice faint.
"I'll give you a dollar, Mister, If you can tell me where God ain't."

Author unknown

Courtesy of The Conservative Voice

Double Standard

“…when Mr. Richards was interrupted by a small group at a nearby table, he should have been competent enough to deal with it without engaging in racist invective. Having said that, let’s look at what it means to lose your temper and make a few stupid remarks in the ultra-sensitive country that we’ve become. Since the guy imploded onstage, the video quickly made its way onto the international airwaves, resulting in the type of condemnation that should be reserved for, say, a man who butchered 2 people and got away with it.”

Read the rest.

Niccolo Machiavelli

"And what physicians say about disease is applicable here: that at the beginning a disease is easy to cure but difficult to diagnose; but as time passes, not having been treated or recognized at the outset, it becomes easy to diagnose but difficult to cure. The same thing occurs in affairs of state; for by recognizing from afar the diseases that are spreading in the state (which is a gift given only to a prudent ruler), they can be cured quickly; but when they are not recognized and are left to grow to the extent that everyone recognizes them, there is no longer any cure." -- Niccolo Machiavelli

More.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Day the World Stopped

“Dallas, Nov. 22--President John Fitzgerald Kennedy was shot and killed by an assassin today.
He died of a wound in the brain caused by a rifle bullet that was fired at him as he was riding through downtown Dallas in a motorcade.
Vice President Lyndon Baines Johnson, who was riding in the third car behind Mr. Kennedy's, was sworn in as the 36th President of the United States 99 minutes after Mr. Kennedy's death.”

Read the rest.

Who is Barak Obama?

‘Senator Barack Obama's (D-Ill) platform is his politics of "understanding." Obama has been careful not to define the issues upon which he runs; rather, he explains that it is time to "move forward," to discard "ideology," to reach a new "common ground" built on an "understanding" of broad-based values. Of course, this is pure Grade A pap, since Obama fails to define those values, except in broad generalities. Yes, he's for the flag (but not against burning it -- he voted against the flag-protection amendment), motherhood (as long as taxpayers foot the bill for daycare and abortion on demand remains legal) and apple pie (he has not had to vote on apple pie). But where does he stand?’

Read it all.

Have We Lost Our Minds?

‘Remember Alberto Fernandez? The State Department press officer was forced to apologize last month after telling Al Jazeera that the U.S. had shown “arrogance” and “stupidity” in Iraq.
Well after a month of silence, the State Department is finally speaking out on Fernandez — not to condemn him, but to praise his “integrity, courage, [and] sensitivity.”
Fernandez was selected from three department nominees for the Edward R. Murrow Award for Excellence in Public Diplomacy by Tufts University... for his work with pan-Arab media ... to increase the number of appearances by U.S. officials.
He receives a certificate signed by Secretary Condoleezza Rice — and $10,000 in cash.’

Read it all.

Quote of the Day

“Given our monstrous, overgrown government structure, any three letters chosen at random would probably designate an agency or part of a department that could be profitably abolished.” —Milton Friedman

The Road to Peace

Michael Fumento


Hat tip: Michelle Malkin

Majority Drool

‘Media people are feverish. They've discovered an exotic new life-form, the missing link, the elusive "walking fish" that just might be the key to existence itself. Known as The Democrat, this fascinating beast has been the subject lately of countless earnest, hopeful news stories.’

Read the rest.

Hat tip: Real Clear Politics

Alcee Hastings, Corruption Personified

“Eighteen years ago, Democratic Rep. John Conyers came to believe that Alcee Hastings, at the time a federal judge in Florida, was guilty of impeachable offenses. Hastings stood accused of conspiring to take bribes, and, although it is little remembered today, Conyers served as the chairman of the House Judiciary subcommittee that investigated Hastings and unanimously recommended his impeachment. After the House voted 413 to 3 to impeach Hastings, Conyers went on to serve as one of the House impeachment managers who successfully argued before the Senate that Hastings should be convicted and removed from office.”

Read it all.

Tastes of Philadelphia

‘Long Italian roll with meat, tuna etc. and lettuce, tomatoes, onions, oil, oregano, salt, pepper and sometimes hot or sweet peppers. Never pickles. That was invented by Subway. (They can't even cut the rolls right!). Other places have similar sandwiches but they are all slightly different. People claim everything is in the bread. Amoroso makes a lot of hoagie and steak rolls. In Atlantic City, the Italian bread is slightly crustier on the outside and more dense on the inside.
Many stories have circulated about the origins of "hoagies". Basically, shops that catered to the Hog Island and Navy Yard workers started to call the sandwiches "hoagies".’

Check out these Philly foods here. You’re guaranteed to become a loyal fan. But, I beg you, do not become a fan of Philadelphia sports teams!

Goodbye, Mr. Friedman

"Today, upon news of the death of Nobel Laureate economist Dr. Milton Friedman, Gordon St. Angelo, president and CEO of the Milton and Rose D. Friedman Foundation, offered the following statement:

America has lost a true visionary and advocate for human freedom. And I have lost a great friend.

Milton’s passion for freedom and liberty has influenced more lives than he ever could possibly know. His writings and ideas have transformed the minds of U.S. Presidents, world leaders, entrepreneurs and freshmen economic majors alike. The loss of his passion, incisive mind and dedication to freedom are all national treasures that we mourn for today."

Read it all.

Iraq Solution

“With Iraqi society decomposing - or, at best, reverting to a medieval state with cell phones - the debate in Washington over whether to try to save the day by deploying more troops or withdrawing some is of secondary relevance.

What really matters is what our forces are ordered - and permitted - to do. With political correctness permeating our government and even the upper echelons of the military, we never tried the one technique that has a solid track record of defeating insurgents if applied consistently: the rigorous imposition of public order.

That means killing the bad guys. Not winning their hearts and minds, placating them or bringing them into the government. Killing them.”(emphasis mine)

Read it all here.

Republicans Learn Nothing

“Last night, a prominent conservative blogger was telling me that she "hates Republicans" and that she wants to vote independent. When I asked her why, she said, "Yeah, they're totally gonna elect Boehner and Blunt. And then the Martinez thing. They're killing me."

All I can say is that yeah, they're killing me, too.

Although it's too early to tell who's going to win, the same Republican leaders in the House who failed miserably in the last election, such as Representatives John Boehner (R.-Ohio) and Roy Blunt (R.-Mo.), seem to be on track to win re-election. Worse yet, Sen. Trent Lott (R.-Miss.) of all people is trying to make a comeback as minority whip in the Senate. Then there's the Republican National Committee, where Ken Mehlman, who was an excellent chairman, is being replaced by sitting Sen. Mel Martinez and an RNC staffer. After the drubbing the Republican Party just took, does it really make sense to replace an effective RNC chairman with a pro-amnesty, part-timer like Mel Martinez?”

Read it and weep.

Hat tip: Lucianne

Open Borders

“Andy Ostroy has posted a poignant message about his wife, Adrienne Shelly, whose accused murderer, illegal alien day laborer Diego Pillco, reportedly tried to cover up the crime by faking a suicide scene.”

Please read the whole article.

Socialist

“Conservatives are suicidally polite. We feel bound to act nice, and so we go along with whatever euphemism the Left chooses for itself. On their side, Democrats loudly argue for truth in advertising for baldness cures—- but not in the marketplace of political ideas, where telling the truth is a lot more important. That is why the Left constantly seeks new PR labels to disguise itself.”

Read it all.

Always in Our Memory

Here We Go!

'LOS ANGELES - The Democratic congressman who will investigate the Bush administration's running of the government says there are so many areas of possible wrongdoing, his biggest problem will be deciding which ones to pursue.

There's the response to Hurricane Katrina, government contracting in Iraq and on homeland security, political interference in regulatory decisions by the Environmental Protection Agency and the Food and Drug Administration, and allegations of war profiteering, Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., told the Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce.

"I'm going to have an interesting time because the Government Reform Committee has jurisdiction over everything," Waxman said Friday, three days after his party's capture of Congress put him in line to chair the panel. "The most difficult thing will be to pick and choose."' (emphasis added)

Read the rest.

Quote of the Day

“War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks nothing worth a war, is worse. A man who has nothing which he cares more about than he does about his personal safety is a miserable creature who has no chance at being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.” —John Stuart Mill

Mad As Hell!

“Like many Americans, I’m really angry. It was bad enough to watch Republicans fall like dominoes this week. Hearing liberal Democrats claim that the election was all about the war when they didn’t offer a single alternative plan was infuriating.
But receiving the knock-out punch of Donald Rumsfeld being fired the day after the Democratic Party windfall election is making a lot of us about as mad as we’ve been in a long, long time.”

Read the rest.

Has Bush Sold Us Out?

“It is this reporter's opinion that George W. Bush has been rejected by the American people.
We have seen through his arrogance, bullheadedness, and condescension. He has turned off the American people and has all but ruined the Republican Party.

It becomes more apparent by the moment that Mr. Bush is a one world globalist; that without announcing his intentions, Bush has decided to support creation of a North American Union and he will do it through a process of governmental regulations never having to bring the issue before the American people for a clear referendum or a vote.”

Read it all.

Medieval Justice Not So Medieval

“Labeling idleness a crime may have been a bit strict, but the justice system in medieval England should never be considered backwards.
Punishments for offenses in those days were perhaps even more sensible and humane than they are now, say some historians. [Medieval Torture's 10 Biggest Myths]
"The common view of the medieval justice system as cruel and based around torture and execution is often unfair and inaccurate," said University of Cambridge historian Helen Mary Carrel. Most criminals received gentle sentences merely meant to shame them, Carrel said, with the punishments often carried out in the open so townspeople could bring them charity.”


I post this for no other reason except that I find the writer’s name and the subject matter rather amusing.
Check it out.

This is Not Good!

'By Sher Zieve – Marxist Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said that he was filled with optimism over the Democrats’ win on Tuesday. On Wednesday, Chavez said that the Democrat win was a “reprisal vote” against President Bush.
Chavez, who has announced in previous speeches that the US is a “terrorist nation”, said: "Of course, the citizens of the United States are humans with a conscience. It's a reprisal vote against the war in Iraq, against the corruption. All this fills us with optimism."'

Article

The First Post-Election Victim

Thank you, Mr. Rumsfeld

UN Nancies Protect Lebanon

“Hizbullah terrorists are free to roam at night without fear of being identified by the United Nations Interim Force in Lebanon (UNIFIL), according to a report by the German paper Der Spiegel.”

Read it all. It’s a short article.

Quote of the Day

"Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing...after they have exhausted all other possibilities." -- Winston Churchill

Arresting Bombers Might Upset Muslims

“Reuters has gone ‘way beyond parody today with its headline,

Danish Muslims say arrests hurt integration hopes.

Try to keep a straight face:

Just as Danes were breathing sighs of relief that the wounds caused by cartoons of the Prophet Mohammad were healing, they were re-opened with the arrest of seven Muslims accused of plotting bomb attacks.
Muslims say the arrests two months ago have set back their efforts to integrate into Danish society and they find themselves again forced to defend their allegiance to their adoptive country.”

Read the rest.

A New Hope

“Unlike Democrats after their 2004 election debacle, it doesn't seem likely that many conservatives will threaten to move to Canada, spend months in therapy, or engage in angry, unhinged public meltdowns.
Welcome to the No- Sulk Zone!
The reasons are many:”

Read it all.

Hat tip: Michelle Malkin

D-Day!

Lisa Benson

Ann Coulter...Again

“(Democrats) can't not be crazy. They will instantly set to work enacting a national gay marriage law, impeachment hearings, slavery reparations and a series of new federal felonies for abortion clinic protesters. The only way to get Democrats to focus on terrorists would be to convince them that the terrorists are interfering with a woman's right to choose or that commercial jetliners exploding in midair are a threat to America's wetlands.”-Ann Coulter

...Sigh

After watching a segment of Who Wants to be a Millionaire, with Meredith Vieira the other day, all I could do was sigh.

The contestant was asked, “The Supreme Court decision on Hamdan vs. Rumsfeld dealt with which of the following actions of the President being unlawful:”
a. Authorization of wiretaps
b. Establishment of military tribunals
c. Deployment of troops, or
d. Pardoning of prisoners?

The contestant had no idea, so used a ”lifeline” to ask the audience. 50% said (a). Only 31% said (b). The remainder chose the other two.

Half of these people have been convinced by the Dems and the MSM that intercepting terrorist communication is illegal! Over two- thirds of them are uninformed idiots.

These people are voting tomorrow, folks. God have mercy on our country.

We Love Pepsi. They Love Death.

“Y’know, when I see videos of young Muslim young men slicing their heads with straight razors in a frenzied jihadic pep rally, and then I see videos of our young pimps and thugs, or our Queer Eyed for Straight Guy males and our Darwinian throw back Jack Ass 2 droogies, I get a real bad feeling. It’s the feeling that if our civilian teens/twentysomethings were ever to go toe to toe with post-pubertal Islamic terrorists that our young ‘uns would get hammered like a loose board at John DiResta’s house.
Our soft and stupid culture is setting us up to be no match for these Muslim youth who are being wet nursed in Islamic death cults, being fueled with Muslim madness in a land with zero economic opportunity and are feasting feverishly on a steady diet of Anti-American disdain.
Yep, all things being equal, I believe they will eventually clean our kid’s clock if we don’t get a pro-American, kiss-my-butt attitude back into our warp and woof. These Muslim boys who currently reside across the sea (and some across your street) are not your normal young men.”

Read it all.

Cardinals Apologize For Winning World Series

“ST. LOUIS—Calling Friday night's victory on baseball's grandest stage "a terrible mistake," members of the St. Louis Cardinals issued a formal apology for making the playoffs, winning the World Series, and depriving baseball fans everywhere of a season featuring the kind of heartwarming, storybook ending to which they have grown accustomed in recent years.”

Read the rest.

Ann Coulter Faces Voting Probe

“PALM BEACH, Fla. – The same prosecutor's office that investigated talk-show host Rush Limbaugh for alleged "doctor shopping" and for carrying Viagra will now look into allegations of voting misconduct by another conservative media giant – Ann Coulter.

Palm Beach County Elections Supervisor Arthur Anderson, a Democrat, says he will refer the accusation that Coulter voted knowingly in the wrong precinct Feb. 7 in a town election to State Attorney Barry Krischer's office by tomorrow. Krischer is also a Democrat.”

Read it all.

Gems From The Hollywood Squares

“The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics...this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.”

Funny stuff here.

Kerryism [Victor Davis Hanson]

“Kerry surely must be one of the saddest Democratic liabilities around. Some afterthoughts about his latest gaffe, which is one of those rare glimpses into an entire troubled ideology:
(1) How could John Kerry, born into privilege, and then marrying and divorcing and marrying out of and back into greater inherited wealth, lecture anyone at a city college about the ingredients for success in America? If he were to give personal advice about making it, it would have to be to marry rich women. Nothing he has accomplished as a senator or candidate reveals either much natural intelligence or singular education. Today, Democrats must be wondering why they have embraced an overrated empty suit, and ostracized a real talent like Joe Lieberman.”

Read the rest.

Apology?

Let’s make up a ‘hypothetical’, since the only way you can have a ‘hypothetical’ is to make it up.

I cheated on my wife. She found out and now I must confront her.

Apology #1: “Dear, I have made a terrible mistake and am sorry for the damage I did to you and our marriage.”

Apology #2: “Dear, I have made a terrible mistake and am sorry if you feel like this damages our marriage, although that clearly was not my intent.”

# 2 is not an apology. It is the egocentric rambling of a child.

John Kerry, take note.

CNN's Jackpot

The best thing CNN Headline News has ever done is adding Glenn Beck, Erica Hill, and Robin Meade to its line-up. The former is smart, witty, and politically conservative, as God intended us all to be. He also is a refreshing alternative to FNC’s Shepard “I make O’Reilly look humble” Smith. The latter two are charming, intelligent, and... oh, yeah…drop dead gorgeous!

CNN will probably never be my favorite news source since I like my news to be at least probable, but this is a good start.

New Kerry Interview

"Buckley F. Williams: Senator Kerry, thank you for taking the time to sit down with me.We here at The Nose On Your Face were very fortunate to sit down with Senator John Kerry. I know how busy you are.
Senator John Kerry: My pleasure.
BFW: Clearly there is one question that is on everyone's mind at this time: is the correct spelling "c-a-t-s-u-p" or the more commonly seen "k-e-t-c-h-u-p"?
SJK: Interestingly enough, both of these spellings are considered improper in the industry today. In deference to our Muslim friends we have changed it to "Q-'-a-t-s-u-p". Furthermore, it is now considered good form to kneel and bow towards Heinz corporate headquarters when smacking the heck out of the bottle to try and get the Q'atsup flowing.”

Click here for the rest.

Dem Reaction to Kerry Insult

“You knew it was coming, courtesy of the San Francisco Chronicle, the newspaper of would be Speaker Pelosi's home town and crowd. Remember, these are the people who keep sending Nancy Pelosi back to the House year after year.”

Read the rest.

Hat tip: American Thinker

Giving Our Country Away

“ALLENTOWN, Pa. - A federal judge on Tuesday blocked the city of Hazleton from enforcing a pair of ordinances targeting illegal immigrants, just hours before the measures were to go into effect.
The measures, approved by the City Council last month, would have imposed fines on landlords who rent to illegal immigrants and denied business permits to companies that give them jobs. They also would have required tenants to register with City Hall and pay for a rental permit.
U.S. District Judge James Munley ruled that landlords, tenants and businesses that cater to Hispanics faced "irreparable harm" from the laws and issued a temporary restraining order blocking their enforcement.”

Read the rest.

Democratic Semantics

In this year of 2006 there are two predominant political parties in America, Democrats and Republicans. Interestingly our form of government is a republic, not a democracy. But that is begging discussion at a later time.
For now, let’s define “semantics” courtesy of Merriam-Webster.

"Main Entry: se·man·tics Pronunciation: si-'man-tiks
Function: noun plural but singular or plural in construction
1 : the study of meanings
a : the historical and psychological study and the classification of changes in the signification of words or forms viewed as factors in linguistic development
b (1) : SEMIOTIC (2) : a branch of semiotic dealing with the relations between signs and what they refer to and including theories of denotation, extension, naming, and truth
2 : GENERAL SEMANTICS
3 a : the meaning or relationship of meanings of a sign or set of signs; especially : connotative meaning
b : the language used (as in advertising or political propaganda) to achieve a desired effect on an audience especially through the use of words with novel or dual meanings"

With this in mind I have a question or two, or more. Why do we often refer to Democrats as members of the Democratic Party? Do we speak of Republicanists? How about Republicanics or Republicaniacs?
Hell, even my spell checker can’t abide that!
Here’s my theory. We have become so enamored of our so-called “Great Democracy” that we have forgotten the meaning of the words. “Democratic” sounds so warm and fuzzy, so nice. Bull!
So, please, for the sake of the sanctity of the king’s English language, let’s forego the use of the ‘Democratic Party’ in favor of the proper ‘Democrat Party’.
It will make me feel better. And Democrats are all about feelings.

Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid!

PC Horror

“Today is, of course, Halloween, but if, like me, you have a kid in an elementary school, you wouldn’t know it. Rather, in many classrooms around the country “Fall-Fest” is being celebrated.
Why not Halloween? For a number of reasons really. The first is of course, politically correct reasons. Sadly, school districts are loathe to offend either the “Wiccans” (or those like them) who think their religion is being mocked or not understood, or some fundamentalist Christians who think celebrating Halloween is akin to doing the bidding of Satan.”

Read the rest.

But He Supports Our Troops!

“You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.” -- John Kerry

Courtesy of Right Wing News

Update here

I Think, Therefore I Am...I Think

Things I Know

It is never a good idea to fry chicken while shirtless.

I hate getting up at one AM to set the clocks forward/back for daylight saving/standard time.

It is obviously racist to name the shortest month of the year (February) "Black History Month".

Remember not to judge your fellow man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. Then go ahead because you have his shoes, and he’s a mile away. (I can’t remember whom I stole that one from.)

My neighbor weighs in with “i before e, except after c”. I suspect he's right.

We reward “second-degree” murderers with a lesser sentence simply because of their incompetence.

Men are always going to look stupid as long as there are remarkably intelligent women like Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, and Lynne Cheney in the world.

"Balderdash" and "hornswoggle" are two of my favorite words.

It makes perfect sense that a politician will spend twenty-million dollars to get a job that pays him $100,000 a year. (Paraphrased from Charles Barkley.)

One should either write numerical values as '1,2,3' or 'one, two, three'…never both in the same sentence.

Steroids are an abomination for professional athletes. Lasik surgery is perfectly acceptable.

I not only know all the words to the Beatles' classic "I Am the Walrus", but also understand them, and try to live my life by them.

Oliver North

“As of this writing 2,802 young Americans have been killed during three and a half years of war in Iraq. That’s roughly the same number killed at Iwo Jima during the first three and a half days of fighting against the Japanese. Every life lost was precious and every loss grievous to those who loved them. Unfortunately, our media intends to use every one of those killed to make their point. It’s a lesson they learned in Vietnam. On Feb. 27, 1968, after a month of brutal fighting and daily images of U.S. casualties on American television, Walter Cronkite, then the host of the CBS Evening News, proclaimed that the Tet Offensive had proven to him that the Vietnam War was no longer winnable... It didn’t matter that Tet had been a decisive victory for the United States and South Vietnam. Today’s potentates of the press are trying to deliver the same message: that Iraq, like Vietnam, is un-winnable. One television network has gone so far as to broadcast images of U.S. troops being killed by terrorists—making Iraq the first war where Americans get their news from the enemy. The war in Vietnam wasn’t lost during ‘Tet 68’ no matter what Cronkite said. Rather, it was lost in the pages of America’s newspapers, on our televisions, our college campuses—and eventually in the corridors of power in
Washington. We need to pray that this war isn’t lost the same way.” —Oliver North

Hat tip: The Patriot Post

Being A Philly Sports Fan

'ESPN’s “The Sports Guy” is one of my favorite writers. This week he did a “Power Poll” of NFL teams. After each team he writes something (usually funny and insightful at the same time). But when he got to the Eagles - who have lost all 3 games this year on the last play of the game, including last week on a 62 yard field goal - he didn’t write anything. He just let the emails he got from Philly sports fans speak for themselves - he probably knew he couldn’t top any of them.
Because I’m a glutton for punishment, and because it’s therapeutic, here’s what people wrote in to him about my beloved Birds.'

Read the rest.

Cool Game

Too much time on your hands? Try this.

Nicotine Withdrawal…Day Six

Cravings for tobacco are more infrequent (or should that be 'less frequent'?) and much less intense. Insomnia is a bit of a problem, but that may be because during the day I feel exhausted and take catnaps. Trouble writing complete sentences.
All in all, I’m okay, you’re okay, but you are somewhat confused and confusing.
Excuse me while I try to find something really trivial to get worked up about (great, one freakin’ preposition immediately followed by another).

How’s That, Again?

From the Pepto Bismol Files: “It was him, and I was like, and then I was like, he’s like, ‘I understand that you, you’re upset.’ And I said to him, ‘You know, to tell you the truth, sir, you broke my heart.’ I said, ‘You know, I loved you like my mom loved Kennedy and, you know, I had faith in you, one of the few men I had real faith and hope in.’... [Y]ou know what he said to me? He said, ‘I’m sorry.’ He said, ‘I’m sorry for any man who ever hurt you and all those things you have said to me, I have said to myself, and you’re right and I’m sorry.’ And then I started to cry and couldn’t talk. Then I was like, ‘Ok, I gotta go, bye!”’ —Rosie O’Donnell on a “conversation” with Bill Clinton

Courtesy of Patriot Post

Nicotine Withdrawal

After forty-one years of addiction, I am now into my fourth day of withdrawal. May God have mercy on my soul if this kills me.
Light blogging lest I say something out of anger, confusion, or just plain meanness.

What’s in a Name?

‘It sounds silly, but when "Hillary Clinton" is matched up against Sen. John McCain in a hypothetical presidential election, she loses by a single percentage point. But if pollsters refer to her as "Hillary Rodham Clinton," she trounces the Arizona Republican by 7 percentage points.’

Continue…

Consider Your Vote Carefully!

Police to Avoid Ramadan Arrests

When will the world stop making nice with Islam? These maniacs want to kill us!

“Police in Manchester have been told not to arrest Muslims wanted on warrants at prayer times during Ramadan.
Greater Manchester Police confirmed it had asked detectives not to make planned arrests during those periods for reasons of religious sensitivity.”

Read it all.

Hat tip LGF

Weep for our Courts

"EL PASO, Texas — Two U.S. Border Patrol agents were watching the Mexican boundary last year when they stopped a van carrying 743 pounds of marijuana. The driver fled back across the Rio Grande — with a gunshot wound in his buttocks.
Federal prosecutors convinced a jury in March that the agents had shot a defenseless man and schemed to cover it up. Much of the evidence against them came from the drug runner, Osvaldo Aldrete-Davila, who reported the shooting to a friend at the Border Patrol in Arizona.
Aldrete-Davila was given immunity from prosecution by the U.S. attorney's office."

Read the rest.

He Needs to go!

"Islam is a religion that brings hope and comfort to more than a billion people around the world. It has transcended racial and ethnic divisions. It has given birth to a rich culture of learning and literature and science...
...Ramadan is the holiest month in the Muslim calendar. For Muslims in America and around the world, Ramadan is a special time of prayer and fasting, contemplation of God's greatness, and charity and service to those in need. And for people of all faiths, it is a good time to reflect on the values we hold in common, including love of family, gratitude to God, the importance of community, and a commitment to tolerance and religious freedom."-G.W.Bush

Courtesy Michelle Malkin

Bow to the Dow

The stock market ebbs and flows because of many things including, but not limited to, the consumer price index, inflation fears, and unemployment rates.
More accurately, the market reflects the outcome of expectations of what these numbers might be. If the numbers fall short of expectations, the market declines, and vice-versa.
I wonder who “They” are that decide what the economy should be doing? Doesn’t it make more sense for the market to reflect was is happening with the economy rather than what we think might happen?
But, then again, I’m just a humble regular guy. What do I know?

Are You a Survivor?

“Survival kits and disaster preparedness used to be something out of the mainstream. After a brief (and heavily-mocked) period of fallout-shelter construction in the late 1950s and early 1960s, the notion of private disaster preparedness retreated from the mainstream. Survival kits and equipment were available, but mostly through military surplus stores and other specialty sources.
But now that seems to have changed. As I noted on my weblog last week, both Eddie Bauer and Target are selling survival kits, and a reader emailed to note that survival preparation has gone even more mainstream:”

Read it all.


If anyone is interested in making his own survival kit, an excellent source of foods is here.

Latest U.S. Torture Technique

“SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico - A high-calorie diet combined with life in the cell block - almost around the clock in some cases - is making detainees at Guantanamo Bay fat.
Meals totaling a whopping 4,200 calories per day are brought to their cells, well above the 2,000 to 3,000 calories recommended for weight maintenance by U.S. government dietary guidelines. And some inmates are eating everything on the menu.
One detainee has almost doubled in weight, to 410 pounds, said Navy Cmdr. Robert Durand, spokesman for the detention facilities at Guantanamo, a U.S. Navy station in southeast Cuba.
Human rights groups attribute the weight gain to lack of exercise. They cite accounts of released detainees who complained they were allowed to exercise fewer than three times a week outside their small cells.”


This is just another example of how the evil Bush Administration (appointed by the Supreme Court, by the way) forces others to conform to “American values”.
When will the right-wing evangelicals realize that food is the enemy, not Freedom Fighters, praise Allah?

Hat tip: Blonde Sagacity

The Fascists Among Us

“It’s no secret that hurling names about is as common in the political world as it is in a grammar school playground. One oft-used pejorative is “fascist,” which, along with racist, sexist, homophobe and others, tends to be least understood by those who utter it most. And because these damning terms are used wantonly, more to discredit than describe, they tend to be misapplied. Then, soon, calling someone a fascist becomes akin to calling him a snake: more a vague impugnment of character then a characterization of methods and goals.
Rhetoric aside, however, I’ve come to realize that true fascists do exist in our time. But who are they? How can they be correctly identified? To discover the answer, let’s start with a trip down Bad Memory Lane.”

Read it all.

Should have Gotten Life…at Least!

“NEW YORK - Civil rights lawyer Lynne Stewart was sentenced Monday to 28 months in prison on a terrorism charge for helping a client, a blind sheik who plotted to blow up New York City landmarks, communicate with his followers.

Stewart, 67, could have faced up to 30 years in prison.

She smiled as the judge announced his decision to send her to prison for less than 2½ years.”

Read the rest.

Helping the Invasion

"SAN DIEGO — The high-top sneakers cost $215 at a San Diego boutique, but the designer is giving them away to migrants before they cross to this side of the U.S.-Mexico border."

Read the rest.

Hat tip: Neal Boortz

Government School in Action

“INDUS, Minn. - A school principal has resigned and could face felony firearm charges after he shot and killed two orphaned kittens on school property last month.
Wade Pilloud, who resigned as principal of the K-12 Indus school, 40 miles west of International Falls, said he shot the kittens to spare them from starving to death after their mother was killed in an animal trap.”

Read it.

Quiz Answers

Definitive Answers to THE Hard Knocks Test

1. “The Man”
2. “Crazy Legs”
3. Some may want to say “i”, however, my 9th grade teacher told us that two negatives multiplied are a positive, so therefore there can be no answer to this remarkably stupid question.
4. “Supersede”
5. “Audie Murphy”
6. “Onions”
7. “Cornelius MacGillicudy”
8. “Snips and snails and puppy dog tails”
9. Can’t be done, Bozo!
10. Cornelius Jacobson Mey
11. Be careful answering this one. However, if you lie, I hope you have a pleasant time in Hell!
12. Cracker Jack
13. “The Temptations”
14. Unfortunately true. He was an under-appreciated “Great“.
15. William McKinley
16. True, very, very true
17. If you are a Liberal, this is “true”. If you are a Conservative, “false”.
18. If you said “Nelson”, you are correct.
19. This doesn’t count. I just wanted to see how many of you are idiotic enough to mutilate yourself.
20. Almond Paste, yum.
21. “What a maroon!” The Peahen lays the eggs.
22. It’s “crick”, as any South Jersey raised individual rightly knows.
23. If you even attempt to answer this one, you should be hospitalized.
24. Black History Month
25. Eleven
Extra Credit
1954
(This test in no way reflects the writer’s ethnic, geographic, or sports bias)
Scoring
20-26, (You cheated.) However, if you are a female aged 30-50, we should meet.
19-15, Great score! If you’re an attractive female aged 30-50, we should meet.
14-10, Nice going! If you are a wealthy, attractive female aged 30-50, we should meet.
Under 10, Let’s see how the higher scorers work out.

Hello, Everyone

Got a nice new look, thanks to Blogger. I'll being posting daily (Monday through Friday, at least) starting today. The content will be a little different from my other site.
Thank you for reading this little blog.

Testing, testing

Official School of Hard Knocks Test
(Do not click on a link until you have answered the question, slime ball!)

1. What was Stan Musial’s nickname?

2. Elroy Hirsch was known as:
3. What is the square root of -1?
4. Name the only word in the English language to end in “sede”.
5. Who was the most decorated soldier in WWII?
6. If you order a Philly cheesesteak “wit”, what do you get?
7. What was Connie Mack’s real name?
8. What are little boys made of?
9. In 25 words, or less, explain the difference between Einstein’s ‘Special’ and ‘General’ theories of Relativity.
10. Cape May, New Jersey was named after what Dutch explorer?
11. Do you know anyone named “Cornelius“

12. What do you want when you gotta have somethin’, and it’s gotta be good, and it’s gotta be a lot, and you gotta have it now?

13. David Ruffin was the lead singer for what Motown group?
14. Richie Ashburn is dead. True or False?

15. Mark Hanna was the ‘money man’ behind what U.S. President?
16. True or False? Herman Melville was a wretched novelist

17. Supply and Demand have little to do with rising prices. True or False?

18. Name a famous Ozzie.
19. Would you ever consider getting a tattoo?
20. Marzipan is (a) an island off the coast of Saipan (b) an almond paste (c) who cares?
21. A peacock lays what color eggs?
22. Creek is correctly pronounced “crick”. True or false?
23. Explain why the Beatles song, I am the Walrus is relevant to our times.
24. Fill in the blank. “Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November. All the
rest have thirty-one, except:
25. How many schools are in the Big Ten athletic conference?

Extra Credit
I was wrong once. What was the year?

(answers tomorrow)

Inanimate Fudd Found

Elmer Fudd was found dead today at his La Costa condominium of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound to the face. Detective Robert Farquar of the La Costa Police said that a shotgun was found next to the decedent’s body. Farquar stated that, “The damned barrel of the gun was bent back in a ‘U’ shape such that the shot would be directed toward the shooter. Damnedest thing I’ve ever seen in my three months on the force.”
The incident was reported by a Mr. B. Bunny, a close friend of the deceased. “He was so kind to everyone he met,” said Mr. Bunny. “I used to refer to him as ‘Doc’, and he loved that.”
Mr. Fudd was 60 years of age.

Still Here

But mostly here.

Patty Melt

This is a great sandwich. What could be better than a thick slab of ground beef smothered in fried onions, covered with cheese, and served between two hunks of sourdough bread?I'll tell you what could be better...the name. "Patty Melt"... why don't we just call it "Sissy Sammie?"
Let me ask the guys a question. You're on a date with a great babe (Yes, Virginia, I said "babe") and decide to go for a snack before you take her home and try to figure out how to get her into the sack. You want to order a freaking Patty Melt, but dare you? Hell, no, you buffoon! The second she hears you say "patty melt" you might just as well drag your sorry ass to a monastery, because you will never get to "know" her in the biblical sense.
We, as a society, need to give this culinary delight a new name. Perhaps we could call it "The Duke", or "Fried Steer on PETA Bread", anything but "patty melt."

Switching Gears

Blogging on this site will be light the next few days and probably non-existent after that. I have acquired my own domain and have a new blog at don.donstott.us.
Please join me there.

Paying One's Way

Does this tripe sound familiar?

E-mail No. 7
It is absolutely outrageous to charge people for evacuation costs out of Lebanon for a government that has:- Failed to require Israel to refrain from attacking northern parts of Lebanon- Wasted billions in an unnecessary Iraq war- Given away billions to millionaires through tax cuts
Tony Penya

Thanks to Greta VanSusteren.

It's Another Damned Christian

One Place to Never Say 'Thank You, Jesus'

Go ahead and thank the good Lord, but if you're in a courtroom, you might want to do it silently. Junior Stowers of Honolulu, Hawaii, learned that lesson the hard way when he raised his hands and exclaimed, "Thank you, Jesus!" when he learned a jury had found him not guilty of abusing his 15-year-old son, specifically hitting him with a broomstick last January. But after that outburst, Circuit Judge Patrick Border held him contempt of court and threw him in jail, reports The Associated Press.

Bernie on Ann

Longtime CBS News reporter Bernard Goldberg had a lot to say about Ann Coulter – some of it negative – during a radio interview promoting his book.

Goldberg can't be right 100% of the time, I guess. Read more.

Tsunami Strikes Indonesia

Global warming is responsible for the tsunami in Indonesia. This once again opens many questions for George Bush and his handler, Kkkarl Rove.

Details here

Hating Jews

"There are short-term reasons behind the attacks on Israel by Hezbollah and Hamas. But underlying all the geo-strategy is a solid foundation of fanatical Jew-hatred, dating back to the founding of Islam. There is literally nothing Israel or Jews can do to appease those who seek to annihilate them."

Read it all here.

Not so Super

"This new Superman may not be strictly American, but he's still unmistakably Western and terribly, terribly modern as he... sires a son... Before leaving Earth for five years in a mysterious exit unexplained to anyone, Superman and gal pal Lois Lane hooked up, as they say. Apparently Superman, like his dorky doppelganger, Clark Kent, is clueless when it comes to men and women, and failed to block certain speeding bullets from reaching their natural destination. Voila. When he returns to save the world, he finds that Lois has a 5-year-old son, Jason, and is living with—but is not married to—'the father,' Richard White. Perky Jimmy Olsen explains that, well, you know Lois! She just can't bring herself to consider marriage. All that yucky commitment and stuff. But having a kid out of wedlock is the superwoman way in Metropolis, as most places these days. Who needs a man?... In the absence of a satisfactory moral to the story, we are left to improvise. For my ration of popcorn, one thought emerges with clarity: When it comes to fathers, it's better to have an ordinary man on the ground than have to rely on a flighty narcissist who woos girls on rooftops, and then vanishes in search of self." —Kathleen Parker

Hat tip: Patriot Post

Anti-Israel Puke

As we watch this war unfold in front of our eyes thousands of miles away, the only price we pay is at the pump. But those of us who pay taxes, we pay another price. And Israeli weapons aren't cheap. When an Israeli missile blows up a few homes, burns some kids alive...those are our missiles. Our bombs. We continue to support terrorism. Do you want to know what our bombs just did in a little town called Marwaheen?

If you can stomach it, here is the rest of this traitorous crap.
Hat tip: Little Green Footballs

Malignant Speech

Mike Adams on gay tolerance:

When I began the process of looking for a plaintiff to sue the Georgia Institute of Technology (Georgia Tech), I had hoped to see the day that a federal court would throw out the university’s unconstitutional speech code. The code went so far as to prohibit any speech that would "malign" another individual -- whatever that means.

Read the rest here.

Islam and Democracy

Yes, I know we live in a Republic, not a Democracy, but please read here what Dr. Sanity has to say about Islam and freedom.

Stupid Question(s) of the Day

Why does Hawaii have Interstate Highways? Has anyone ever tried to drive there? Do I not understand the definition of "interstate?"

Is it Just Me?

Or is our government nuts? Apparently the Senate was for a border fence before they were against it. Read about it here.

Hat tip: Lucianne

The Feminization of America

This is from today's Patriot Post:

"Even after another World Cup, Americans are still not exactly enamored of soccer, but we were amazed recently to find the sport on the "banned" list at many elementary schools around the nation. Why? It's too dangerous! And soccer isn't alone in this nanny blitz against contact sports—dodge ball has been on the hit list for years, while touch football and even tag have now been banned at some schools. Freedom Elementary School in Cheyenne, Wyoming, for example, outlawed tag at recess because it "progresses easily into slapping and hitting and pushing instead of just touching," asserted Principal Cindy Farwell. The horror."