President Ford Still Dead

Welcome Dr. Sanity readers!

There will be fewer memorial services in the coming months for Gerald R. Ford now that he has at long last been interred. Hopefully the American public no longer has to be reminded what a really swell guy he was, and what a terrific athlete he had been…not the bumbling numbskull that Chevy Chase erroneously portrayed. Why, Michigan even retired his football jersey number some fifty+ years after his college career, and not because he was President…wink, wink!

Nice and athletic are two of the most important attributes of a fine President. No, wait, that’s Prom King. How he lost an election to that pencil-necked weasel Jimmy Carter is mystifying.

Death has a way of making people seem greater, in retrospect, than they were in life. This is not the case with President Ford, for in life he was one of the finest U.S. leaders. His Presidency will be compared to the greats like Buchanan, Tyler, and Harrison (both of them).

America is a far greater country today because Gerald Ford once walked amongst us. Mediocrity and cluelessness are now cherished qualities in American life. For this, we thank him.

Goodbye, Gerry.